(A speech from a progressive politician in Anywhere, USA)
Attention, everyone! I have an announcement.
It’s that time of the year again—time for the most evil holiday on the calendar.
Christmas.
We must resume our annual battle to prevent the open celebration of Jesus’ birth. Our main point of attack will continue to focus on the notion that Christmas displays create hostile environments for non-believers. Playing the victim card continues to work well. We’ve been able to virtually eliminate Nativity scenes from the public sphere, and we’ve white-washed the term Christmas tree and replaced it with the conventional Holiday tree. Public schools have proven invaluable. Christmas concerts have been replaced by Winter Festivals. Children may sing about Kwanzaa and even Hanukkah, but the only "Christmas" songs allowed are those generic winter songs about sleigh-riding, Santa, and winter wonderlands.
What is that you’re saying in the back of the room? The majority of Americans want Christmas decorations publically displayed? Forget them. We who are offended by Jesus have the final say . . . even if there are only a limited number of us. When you have as many supporters in the judiciary as we have, the number of followers is irrelevant. If those Jesus Freaks want to celebrate his birthday then let them go to a church.
On to the next item: I have in my hand a few of the anti-Christmas strategies that have been put into effect by other towns around the nation. These are just two examples; there are many more that will be enacted over the next few weeks.
Last weekend the town of Patchogue, NY celebrated its 15th annual boat parade. Formerly the Patchogue Christmas Boat Parade, the name was changed to the Patchogue Holiday Boat Parade because of "complaints that the use of ‘Christmas’ seemed to make the parade less inclusive". (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,443785,00.html) Fireworks by Grucci withdrew their fireworks donation to protest the change, but so what? Getting rid of the word Christmas is what matters.
"Florida Gulf Coast University (FGCU) administration has banned all holiday decorations from common spaces on campus and canceled a popular greeting card design contest, which is being replaced by an ugly sweater competition. In Griffin Hall, the university's giving tree for needy preschoolers has been transformed into a ‘giving garden.’" (http://www.news-press.com/article/20081125/NEWS0104/811250380/1075 )
Pretty good, right?
Yes, yes. I understand you’re frustrated because you still have to confront those offensive decorations on people’s private property. Be patient. Think about how much we’ve accomplished in just the past 10 years. Eventually we’ll be able to concoct some law that your rights are being violated by the very sight of these hateful Christian symbols regardless of where they are displayed.
And remember to look at the total picture. Each year more people accept the minimizing of Christmas. We have succeeded in making them feel powerless to stop our onslaught. Plus, we are now rearing generations of children who are clueless as to how widespread the Christmas holiday once was. In another 20 years our followers will be legion.
Let’s meet again next week. We have much work to be done.
Donald Tremblay
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