I Desire Mercy, Not Sacrifice

I went to a function over the weekend that started as a birthday party for a 12-year-old cousin, but quickly morphed into a family reunion since many of us were seeing each other for the first time in years. In fact, when I shook hands with my cousin Kenneth it was the first time we’d crossed paths in nearly three decades. We all reminisced and the conversation inevitably led to the matriarch of my mother’s family, my deceased grandmother who lived to the ripe age of 95.

The woman had lived a difficult life since arriving at Ellis Island as a little girl with her Polish family. She gave birth to 10 children, but only seven survived until adulthood. A set of twins died at birth and a 10-year-old daughter died after the poison from her abscessed tooth shot to her brain. She buried her husband and four sons, all of whom were alcoholics. When she said goodbye to the last of her sons she told those in earshot that she “was supposed to be the one in the casket, not her son.” And then she added the words that all parents feel when they lose a child: “It’s not normal to bury your kids.” Later in life when she was in her 60s, she raised one of my cousins, rescuing her from an unfit mother.

Later that night as I drove home from the party, I was reminded of a conversation I had with Monsignor Cassato from St. Athanasius Church in Brooklyn , NY . I was considering writing a column about how the Church was doing a poor job teaching the flock Catholic doctrine and dogmas. I asked the monsignor his thoughts and he said, “Donald, we try when we can. The truth is there is so much sadness and pain in the world that often we don’t have the time to do that. You wouldn’t believe the calls we get every day from people, beaten down by life.”

Beaten down by life.

I think of my grandmother now, and perhaps for the first time in my life I truly understand Christ’s scolding of his fellow Jews for not understanding the words, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” We all need to remember, and I may need this reminder more than anyone, that as we defend the Faith we must keep compassion foremost in our minds. It’s not easy sometimes. Some people’s personalities make it very difficult to do so. But it’s at these times that we need to remember Christ’s description of the last judgment to his disciples:

“Then shall the king say to them that shall be on his right hand: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in:

Naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me. Then shall the just answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, and fed thee; thirsty, and gave thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and covered thee? Or when did we see thee sick or in prison, and came to thee? And the king answering, shall say to them: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me. “ (Matthew 25: 34-40)

Donald Tremblay